It was well after dark when Cail emerged from his lonely cabin near the Farm. He had barely been to town since his "attack" and he was hungry, but more so than that, he had not meditated, as he was instructed, in many days... weeks... a month. He shook his head at the thought and began his slow trudge towards the fields.
Reaching the clearing, Cail looked up to the sky seeing a partially cloud-covered moon and stars. This did not help his mood in the slightest. He felt slightly cut off from the expanse the terrenes called the universe. He felt as if his mind was closed to all but his own thoughts.
And even though he was by himself, he was not alone.
Words whispered through the mushy mass of memories and he heard the voice of his own consciousness.
No good... weakling... worthless...
Failure... pain... numb...
Kill... Kill... DESTROY!
"NO," he yelled aloud at those last echoing words. As he stood there, arms wide and head held back, the voice was quiet and for a moment, the night became as silent as the bottom of a mineshaft as well. The wildlife of the evening then came back to life and the silence slowly dispersed.
"Damn," Cail whispered to himself as he lowerd his arms and head. "I must meditate. I cannot waste anymore time." He then commenced to sit in the middle of the field and folded his hands in his particular fashion, then closing his eyes he began to build his mental barriers back up.
Guilt... Check.
Pain... Check.
Anger...
Anger...
Anger... Check.