After careful consideration, and multiple petitions from the Ornish Human Liberation Front, I've decided to grant humans the following racial abilities:
2nd Level - Human Ridicule - Burst, "Burst Laughter"
Other races are generally sympathetic to the plight of humans, but when a human steps into combat, they can't help but laugh. Other humans are immune to this effect, but instead burst into tears from being reminded how much they suck.
5th Level - Human Overpopulation - Story - One Minute, Touch, "Reproduce"
Humanity's only real advantage is numbers. They are noted for their ability to go into an area and breed out of control. This action can only be done with another human in private, and the female human must sacrifice nine months of downtime.
8th Level - Human Inadequacy - Self, "Respend"
Upon reaching 8th level, humans become so discouraged by their glaring inadequacies that they retire from adventuring to get boring, mundane jobs. Some of them make excuses about taking an arrow to the knee, but nobody's really fooled. You may immediately start a new character.
you are joking about these right.......?